Continued...
16. Idolatry – Remember, as John Calvin once said, “Our hearts are ‘idol factories.’” It is easy for us to make something into an idol, especially guys or a relationship. We need to make sure our focus remains on God and glorifying and honoring Him through every aspect of our lives.
17. Hanging out – Just because a guy hangs out with other people (guys and girls alike) does not mean he is any less of your friend. Remember that guys are allowed to have friends besides you. Besides, it is a good way for you to see how they interact with other people. Again, be patient! If God wants you to be with that person, He will bring it about in His perfect and good timing.
18. You are a sinner and you date/marry one – When caught up in the moment of dating and feelings and everything that comes along with that, it is easy to forget that the person you are with is a sinner. This guy is not Jesus; he is sinful and he will sin against you. He will fail you and not live up to your expectations. It may not at first, but soon the reality of Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” will set in. Be prepared to be disappointed, but, also, be prepared to disappoint him. You too are a sinner; you too will hurt him and bring him disappointment. You both will fail, but you have God’s forgiveness.
19. Forgiving the other person – You need to keep in mind that forgiveness is a choice you make; it is a promise to continue to love and care for that person. Do not bring up past hurts or wrongs as ammunition to guilt them in to doing something for you. Sometimes, if a guy has “hurt” you, he might not even realize it. You need to figure out why you were hurt by that person. Is it because they were not giving you the attention you wanted? Or was it because they legitimately sinned against you? Remember to get the log out of your own eye because you seek to get the speck out of theirs. (Luke 6:39-42) Sometimes dealing with a deep hurt can be really hard; it could be something that damages or changes your relationship for a long time or forever. It is not the case all the time that you forgive AND forget although you need to try. The hurt might still be there for many years to come. This is when you must be careful to abide by Ephesians 4:31, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” The commitment to forgiving and forgetting might be one that occurs daily; you might have to give up the struggle of hurt day by day, moment by moment. It can be a struggle, but God can lessen the pain if you give the hurt to Him and ask Him to help you love the person who hurt you. You are commanded to forgive others just as Christ forgave you. Remember, you were forgiven by God for the greatest offense anyone could ever commit—disobeying and rejecting Him. Because He loved you enough to forgive you of that, what right have you to withhold forgiveness from others? When I refuse to forgive somebody I am essentially shaking my fist at God and telling Him that His forgiveness was not enough for me to forgive others. That truly is an audacious thing to do! Beware this mindset because it is showing pride and, according to James 4:6, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Take heed lest you fall; bitterness and anger can creep in unnoticed and yet its poison can sink deep into your heart like a root. Chop out that main root; kill it at all costs; and remember that you might have to deal with the offshoots of the main root as time goes by. Small roots of bitterness might still remain, but those too must be dealt with in the same way.
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