Growing Up
The sound of wind chimes blowing in a warm breeze
The smell of sweet crisp baking in the oven
The touch of smooth keys beneath my fingers
The sound of music drifting through the air
What do these recall to memory?
The feel of summer’s end drawing near
The sound of trees rustling in the yard
The taste of fresh sun ripened garden tomatoes
The feel of anticipation as school approaches
What do these recall to memory?
For me, they recall my childhood memories
For me, they recall the times of past
For me, they recall the days of innocence and bliss
For me, they recall my days of youth and play
And what reality does this bring me to?
It brings me to the fact that I’ve grown up
It reminds me that there’s no going back
It’s a sobering fact to realize you’re grown!
Oh how I wish I’d listened to my parents
And obeyed their words to not grow up!
But at least now I understand that I must trust the Lord
I understand that I must let Him guide my paths and ways
For He alone knows what’s best for me
And will ne’er hold His good from me
So now I rest in peace that His hand will hold me to the end.
Today, as my parents were packing and preparing our tent trailer to go camping, a flood of childhood memories came back to me. The afternoons these days have been feeling a lot like fall; there is the warm breeze we have in September and the evenings can be very cool. All of this reminds me of going back to school and of starting a brand new school year. I was also flooded with memories of our camping trip with our church; we have gone to this place since I was one and hardly missed any years until I started high school. (The last time I went was my junior year of high school.) Camp is filled with memories of family, friends, dirt, the lake, hiking, the gun range, riding bikes, the smell of outhouses by the end of the weekend (unfortunately), waking up early for hiking up Sentinal Peak, eating good food, being freezing at night some years and being fine at night other years, singing worship songs to the Lord, seeing thousands and thousands of stars, of getting baptized in the lake, playing with my brothers, etc. Almost 20 years of memories.
But along with all those memories came the reminder of getting older and realizing that life is not as easy now as when I was five. I am not saying that my life is hard now, by no means! But with age come experience and with experience, particularly in the believer’s life, comes the greater realization and revelation of sin and struggles. But, on the other hand, comes the greater reminder of God’s grace and love and mercy and salvation for He should be praised for! I am so thankful to the Lord for my family and my life; I cannot thank Him enough for His kindness and goodness to me. I thank Him for all the memories and look forward to the years ahead of His continued love and kindness.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Advice for Girls - Part 5
Last two...
20. Do not assume you are going to marry John Piper – At any age you are beginning a relationship, unless you are like 65 and I am not sure that you would be reading this, you need to keep in mind that your expectations are probably going to be too high. I am not saying that you should “settle for less” in the guy’s character, etc, but you need to keep in mind that you are not going to marry somebody as mature as John Piper, John MacArthur, A.W. Tozer, Jesus etc. Although you will meet guys who are mature beyond their years, a lot of maturity and wisdom solely comes through living through life. True wisdom comes through experience. You cannot expect a guy to be perfect or to know exactly how to treat you in every circumstance you face together. As you get to know each other you will learn how to interact with one another. Hopefully, if you do end up marrying this person, you will grow and mature in your relationships with the Lord together. And do not be disappointed if he does not turn out exactly like one of the great heroes of faith. God made each of us different for a reason; it is your responsibility to love your husband for who he is and not who you hope him to be.
21. Cultivate your first love – Remember that your first and foremost responsibility is to cultivate a love for and relationship with our God and Savior. He should be your first love. If you cannot love God, if you cannot die to yourself daily and lay down your life to serve Him, you will not be able to do this for a sinful and fallen man. 1 John 4:19 clearly states that “We love because He first loved us.” If you cannot love God, you cannot love man. Therefore, you must learn to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5 & Luke 10:27) and then “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27)
20. Do not assume you are going to marry John Piper – At any age you are beginning a relationship, unless you are like 65 and I am not sure that you would be reading this, you need to keep in mind that your expectations are probably going to be too high. I am not saying that you should “settle for less” in the guy’s character, etc, but you need to keep in mind that you are not going to marry somebody as mature as John Piper, John MacArthur, A.W. Tozer, Jesus etc. Although you will meet guys who are mature beyond their years, a lot of maturity and wisdom solely comes through living through life. True wisdom comes through experience. You cannot expect a guy to be perfect or to know exactly how to treat you in every circumstance you face together. As you get to know each other you will learn how to interact with one another. Hopefully, if you do end up marrying this person, you will grow and mature in your relationships with the Lord together. And do not be disappointed if he does not turn out exactly like one of the great heroes of faith. God made each of us different for a reason; it is your responsibility to love your husband for who he is and not who you hope him to be.
21. Cultivate your first love – Remember that your first and foremost responsibility is to cultivate a love for and relationship with our God and Savior. He should be your first love. If you cannot love God, if you cannot die to yourself daily and lay down your life to serve Him, you will not be able to do this for a sinful and fallen man. 1 John 4:19 clearly states that “We love because He first loved us.” If you cannot love God, you cannot love man. Therefore, you must learn to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5 & Luke 10:27) and then “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Luke 10:27)
Advice for Girls - Part 4
Continued...
16. Idolatry – Remember, as John Calvin once said, “Our hearts are ‘idol factories.’” It is easy for us to make something into an idol, especially guys or a relationship. We need to make sure our focus remains on God and glorifying and honoring Him through every aspect of our lives.
17. Hanging out – Just because a guy hangs out with other people (guys and girls alike) does not mean he is any less of your friend. Remember that guys are allowed to have friends besides you. Besides, it is a good way for you to see how they interact with other people. Again, be patient! If God wants you to be with that person, He will bring it about in His perfect and good timing.
18. You are a sinner and you date/marry one – When caught up in the moment of dating and feelings and everything that comes along with that, it is easy to forget that the person you are with is a sinner. This guy is not Jesus; he is sinful and he will sin against you. He will fail you and not live up to your expectations. It may not at first, but soon the reality of Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” will set in. Be prepared to be disappointed, but, also, be prepared to disappoint him. You too are a sinner; you too will hurt him and bring him disappointment. You both will fail, but you have God’s forgiveness.
19. Forgiving the other person – You need to keep in mind that forgiveness is a choice you make; it is a promise to continue to love and care for that person. Do not bring up past hurts or wrongs as ammunition to guilt them in to doing something for you. Sometimes, if a guy has “hurt” you, he might not even realize it. You need to figure out why you were hurt by that person. Is it because they were not giving you the attention you wanted? Or was it because they legitimately sinned against you? Remember to get the log out of your own eye because you seek to get the speck out of theirs. (Luke 6:39-42) Sometimes dealing with a deep hurt can be really hard; it could be something that damages or changes your relationship for a long time or forever. It is not the case all the time that you forgive AND forget although you need to try. The hurt might still be there for many years to come. This is when you must be careful to abide by Ephesians 4:31, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” The commitment to forgiving and forgetting might be one that occurs daily; you might have to give up the struggle of hurt day by day, moment by moment. It can be a struggle, but God can lessen the pain if you give the hurt to Him and ask Him to help you love the person who hurt you. You are commanded to forgive others just as Christ forgave you. Remember, you were forgiven by God for the greatest offense anyone could ever commit—disobeying and rejecting Him. Because He loved you enough to forgive you of that, what right have you to withhold forgiveness from others? When I refuse to forgive somebody I am essentially shaking my fist at God and telling Him that His forgiveness was not enough for me to forgive others. That truly is an audacious thing to do! Beware this mindset because it is showing pride and, according to James 4:6, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Take heed lest you fall; bitterness and anger can creep in unnoticed and yet its poison can sink deep into your heart like a root. Chop out that main root; kill it at all costs; and remember that you might have to deal with the offshoots of the main root as time goes by. Small roots of bitterness might still remain, but those too must be dealt with in the same way.
16. Idolatry – Remember, as John Calvin once said, “Our hearts are ‘idol factories.’” It is easy for us to make something into an idol, especially guys or a relationship. We need to make sure our focus remains on God and glorifying and honoring Him through every aspect of our lives.
17. Hanging out – Just because a guy hangs out with other people (guys and girls alike) does not mean he is any less of your friend. Remember that guys are allowed to have friends besides you. Besides, it is a good way for you to see how they interact with other people. Again, be patient! If God wants you to be with that person, He will bring it about in His perfect and good timing.
18. You are a sinner and you date/marry one – When caught up in the moment of dating and feelings and everything that comes along with that, it is easy to forget that the person you are with is a sinner. This guy is not Jesus; he is sinful and he will sin against you. He will fail you and not live up to your expectations. It may not at first, but soon the reality of Romans 3:23, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” will set in. Be prepared to be disappointed, but, also, be prepared to disappoint him. You too are a sinner; you too will hurt him and bring him disappointment. You both will fail, but you have God’s forgiveness.
19. Forgiving the other person – You need to keep in mind that forgiveness is a choice you make; it is a promise to continue to love and care for that person. Do not bring up past hurts or wrongs as ammunition to guilt them in to doing something for you. Sometimes, if a guy has “hurt” you, he might not even realize it. You need to figure out why you were hurt by that person. Is it because they were not giving you the attention you wanted? Or was it because they legitimately sinned against you? Remember to get the log out of your own eye because you seek to get the speck out of theirs. (Luke 6:39-42) Sometimes dealing with a deep hurt can be really hard; it could be something that damages or changes your relationship for a long time or forever. It is not the case all the time that you forgive AND forget although you need to try. The hurt might still be there for many years to come. This is when you must be careful to abide by Ephesians 4:31, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” The commitment to forgiving and forgetting might be one that occurs daily; you might have to give up the struggle of hurt day by day, moment by moment. It can be a struggle, but God can lessen the pain if you give the hurt to Him and ask Him to help you love the person who hurt you. You are commanded to forgive others just as Christ forgave you. Remember, you were forgiven by God for the greatest offense anyone could ever commit—disobeying and rejecting Him. Because He loved you enough to forgive you of that, what right have you to withhold forgiveness from others? When I refuse to forgive somebody I am essentially shaking my fist at God and telling Him that His forgiveness was not enough for me to forgive others. That truly is an audacious thing to do! Beware this mindset because it is showing pride and, according to James 4:6, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Take heed lest you fall; bitterness and anger can creep in unnoticed and yet its poison can sink deep into your heart like a root. Chop out that main root; kill it at all costs; and remember that you might have to deal with the offshoots of the main root as time goes by. Small roots of bitterness might still remain, but those too must be dealt with in the same way.
Advice for Girls - Part 3
Continued...
11. Try to avoid looking at guys you meet as “potentials” – Instead, look at them as brothers in Christ. We are called to love one another and to care for one another because—if we are truly saved—we are members of the same household. But do not assume that a particular person is totally ruled out either; God has a sense of humor and a way of making us eat our words at times. Somebody who you promise to never to like, date, or marry could be the very person that God has planned for you to spend forever with. God can always work drastically in a person’s heart including your own. So instead, be open to God’s will and let Him direct your path.
12. Be friendly, but reserved – We need to show the love of God to people, but there is a limit. You do not want to go around sharing your life story and all of your problems and issues and dreams and thoughts and how you are feeling at certain times of certain days with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Oftentimes, guarding oneself can also be guarding the other person. Remain a mystery and do not let a guy know what you are thinking at all times. Let him try to figure you out if he really wants to. If a guy is truly interested he will put in the effort to unveil your “mysteriousness.”
13. Do your best to seek after girl friendships – Let the Lord bring what guy friendships He may. Remember: your girl friends are going to be the ones that you call up after you’re married and have kids and your child does something exciting for the first time. You are not going to call one of your guy pals from college to tell him that your child rolled over or took 10 steps; that would be inappropriate and improper. Once you are married, it is your responsibility to be dedicated to your husband. By saying “I do” to him, you have ruled out the option of sharing your heart or burdens with other guys. Instead, deepen your friendships with girls; they will be the ones you can ask for prayer from and the ones you can share your joys and sorrows with. (As a side note: I am not advocating that you tell every single thing that your husband does to every woman you know; there is a balance between gossiping and asking for wisdom and guidance.)
14. Communication – This is a good thing, but do not make a guy talk about every single thing, every single moment, of every single day. Again, wait and let him initiate a “DTR”; let him lead! However, if waiting is legitimately beginning to hurt your relationship with the Lord, consider whether you have made him into an idol and seek out the wisdom and council of older people. They might just have some really good advice on what you should do. Be honest with him when he asks your opinion; lying is not a good policy! Also, make sure you are not encouraging a guy that you are not interested in. If you need to politely tell him to “back off,” do so; you do not want him to think you are interested when you are not. It might be an awkward conversation, but it is better to communicate your feelings (or lack of feelings) than to get his hopes up. You would not want a guy to do that with you so be considerate and avoid doing the same.
15. Getting “attached” – It is easy for us girls to deceive ourselves and think that we are not emotionally attached to a guy in some way. You might think this could never happen to you, but let me assure you that it can. There have been several times when I have told myself that I did not like a guy, only to discover I actually did because I felt jealous or hurt when he started paying attention to another girl. Be careful. Guard your heart. It is a precious thing.
11. Try to avoid looking at guys you meet as “potentials” – Instead, look at them as brothers in Christ. We are called to love one another and to care for one another because—if we are truly saved—we are members of the same household. But do not assume that a particular person is totally ruled out either; God has a sense of humor and a way of making us eat our words at times. Somebody who you promise to never to like, date, or marry could be the very person that God has planned for you to spend forever with. God can always work drastically in a person’s heart including your own. So instead, be open to God’s will and let Him direct your path.
12. Be friendly, but reserved – We need to show the love of God to people, but there is a limit. You do not want to go around sharing your life story and all of your problems and issues and dreams and thoughts and how you are feeling at certain times of certain days with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Oftentimes, guarding oneself can also be guarding the other person. Remain a mystery and do not let a guy know what you are thinking at all times. Let him try to figure you out if he really wants to. If a guy is truly interested he will put in the effort to unveil your “mysteriousness.”
13. Do your best to seek after girl friendships – Let the Lord bring what guy friendships He may. Remember: your girl friends are going to be the ones that you call up after you’re married and have kids and your child does something exciting for the first time. You are not going to call one of your guy pals from college to tell him that your child rolled over or took 10 steps; that would be inappropriate and improper. Once you are married, it is your responsibility to be dedicated to your husband. By saying “I do” to him, you have ruled out the option of sharing your heart or burdens with other guys. Instead, deepen your friendships with girls; they will be the ones you can ask for prayer from and the ones you can share your joys and sorrows with. (As a side note: I am not advocating that you tell every single thing that your husband does to every woman you know; there is a balance between gossiping and asking for wisdom and guidance.)
14. Communication – This is a good thing, but do not make a guy talk about every single thing, every single moment, of every single day. Again, wait and let him initiate a “DTR”; let him lead! However, if waiting is legitimately beginning to hurt your relationship with the Lord, consider whether you have made him into an idol and seek out the wisdom and council of older people. They might just have some really good advice on what you should do. Be honest with him when he asks your opinion; lying is not a good policy! Also, make sure you are not encouraging a guy that you are not interested in. If you need to politely tell him to “back off,” do so; you do not want him to think you are interested when you are not. It might be an awkward conversation, but it is better to communicate your feelings (or lack of feelings) than to get his hopes up. You would not want a guy to do that with you so be considerate and avoid doing the same.
15. Getting “attached” – It is easy for us girls to deceive ourselves and think that we are not emotionally attached to a guy in some way. You might think this could never happen to you, but let me assure you that it can. There have been several times when I have told myself that I did not like a guy, only to discover I actually did because I felt jealous or hurt when he started paying attention to another girl. Be careful. Guard your heart. It is a precious thing.
Advice for Girls - Part 2
Continued...
6. Think on true things – Do not dwell on the “what ifs,” “could be’s,” “maybes,” and “perhaps.” Think on things that are true and actual (Philippians 4:8). DO NOT assume that a guy is interested in any way UNTIL he actually voices interest. Girls get themselves into a heap of trouble when they daydream and fantasize about a guy. Remember what is true – has he expressed interest? Has he told you that he wants to become better acquainted? If not, then do not imagine that he likes you! It will help you stay away from a lot of heart ache, especially if he starts pursing somebody else.
7. Be patient – Remember, sometimes guys take a few more years than girls to mature. It might take a guy a little longer to recognize what he is looking for and to realize that he is interested in a particular girl. He might be interesting in a girl, but he might not know how to go about starting a relationship. Let him figure it out; if he is “the One,” God will direct his steps and he will make it to you in time. Wait for him to make the first move. If he does initiate something, do not sigh and say, “Finally! I thought you’d never ask!!” You need to be encouraging and supporting, not demeaning and disheartening. Taking a step towards dating—if it is serious and done with the mindset of finding out if marriage will be the end—is a big step for a guy!! In making that step, they are beginning to think about the possibility of “forever”; once they say “I do” they have the responsibility to care and provide for you and they cannot go back on this choice. So do not rush the process because once you say “yes,” it’s forever! Cut the guy some slack; be patient and let God guide him.
8. Contentment – It is important to understand that being in a relationship will not make you happy or content; if you are not content in singleness you will not be content in a relationship. If you are not content with deepening your relationship with God, you will not be content in getting to know a guy better. And, yes, there will still be times when you struggle with contentment, but it is your responsibility to be seeking the Lord and asking Him for help. Loneliness does not end with marriage; I have heard that oftentimes marriage can be even lonelier for a woman because she cannot go to as many people to talk about her problems. Do not think that getting a boyfriend, a fiancé, or a husband will make you any less lonely or discontent. Only God can fill this void in your heart.
9. Avoid technological conversations as much as possible – It is so easy to build false emotional attachments over Skype, Facebook chat, IM, Gchat, etc. Now, I am not saying that it is inappropriate or wrong to chat once in a while, but it is not wise to let it become a habit. Spend time with them face-to-face. It is so much better to see how they react to questions, situations, and even your reactions. In order to truly get to know somebody you have to spend time with them. Besides, it is easy to make yourself look and sound good over the internet; without physically being with them it is harder to see their strengths and weaknesses. Also, until further intentions have been declared, avoid consistent, deep, spiritual, one-on-one conversations especially late at night. It is very easy to let your guard down when you are tired; people become more vulnerable and open when they are sleepy so it is best to avoid the temptation altogether. While these sorts of conversations are not bad, they can provide for relationships that go too deep too fast; they can be totally based on feelings and have no logic, reason, or wisdom to base a relationship off of. This is another reason it is good to have older, wiser council in your life; they can keep you accountable to how much time you are spending together or talking with each other.
10. Form a friendship – Although this is not necessarily essential and can be more of a personal preference, it is a good idea to be friends with a person before you start dating them. This will allow you to see how they interact with other people of the same and opposite gender. It will also help you see who they really are without the pressure or expectation of trying to impress. Another good reason to be friends first (and again, this might not happen which is totally fine) is because romantic feelings will not be present in a marriage 100% of the time; there will be times when you will have to consciously choose to love the person you are married to even if you do not feel like loving them. If you base a marriage solely on feelings, you will soon be in trouble because feelings ebb and flow even more often than the ocean tide. Building that friendship and companionship will help remind you why you made those wedding vows. Also, keep the friendships with other people that you had before dating somebody; do not forsake your friends or stop hanging out with them! Remember that this relationship could end; if that is the case, it will be much harder to pick back up with other friendships that you neglected for the time you were dating.
6. Think on true things – Do not dwell on the “what ifs,” “could be’s,” “maybes,” and “perhaps.” Think on things that are true and actual (Philippians 4:8). DO NOT assume that a guy is interested in any way UNTIL he actually voices interest. Girls get themselves into a heap of trouble when they daydream and fantasize about a guy. Remember what is true – has he expressed interest? Has he told you that he wants to become better acquainted? If not, then do not imagine that he likes you! It will help you stay away from a lot of heart ache, especially if he starts pursing somebody else.
7. Be patient – Remember, sometimes guys take a few more years than girls to mature. It might take a guy a little longer to recognize what he is looking for and to realize that he is interested in a particular girl. He might be interesting in a girl, but he might not know how to go about starting a relationship. Let him figure it out; if he is “the One,” God will direct his steps and he will make it to you in time. Wait for him to make the first move. If he does initiate something, do not sigh and say, “Finally! I thought you’d never ask!!” You need to be encouraging and supporting, not demeaning and disheartening. Taking a step towards dating—if it is serious and done with the mindset of finding out if marriage will be the end—is a big step for a guy!! In making that step, they are beginning to think about the possibility of “forever”; once they say “I do” they have the responsibility to care and provide for you and they cannot go back on this choice. So do not rush the process because once you say “yes,” it’s forever! Cut the guy some slack; be patient and let God guide him.
8. Contentment – It is important to understand that being in a relationship will not make you happy or content; if you are not content in singleness you will not be content in a relationship. If you are not content with deepening your relationship with God, you will not be content in getting to know a guy better. And, yes, there will still be times when you struggle with contentment, but it is your responsibility to be seeking the Lord and asking Him for help. Loneliness does not end with marriage; I have heard that oftentimes marriage can be even lonelier for a woman because she cannot go to as many people to talk about her problems. Do not think that getting a boyfriend, a fiancé, or a husband will make you any less lonely or discontent. Only God can fill this void in your heart.
9. Avoid technological conversations as much as possible – It is so easy to build false emotional attachments over Skype, Facebook chat, IM, Gchat, etc. Now, I am not saying that it is inappropriate or wrong to chat once in a while, but it is not wise to let it become a habit. Spend time with them face-to-face. It is so much better to see how they react to questions, situations, and even your reactions. In order to truly get to know somebody you have to spend time with them. Besides, it is easy to make yourself look and sound good over the internet; without physically being with them it is harder to see their strengths and weaknesses. Also, until further intentions have been declared, avoid consistent, deep, spiritual, one-on-one conversations especially late at night. It is very easy to let your guard down when you are tired; people become more vulnerable and open when they are sleepy so it is best to avoid the temptation altogether. While these sorts of conversations are not bad, they can provide for relationships that go too deep too fast; they can be totally based on feelings and have no logic, reason, or wisdom to base a relationship off of. This is another reason it is good to have older, wiser council in your life; they can keep you accountable to how much time you are spending together or talking with each other.
10. Form a friendship – Although this is not necessarily essential and can be more of a personal preference, it is a good idea to be friends with a person before you start dating them. This will allow you to see how they interact with other people of the same and opposite gender. It will also help you see who they really are without the pressure or expectation of trying to impress. Another good reason to be friends first (and again, this might not happen which is totally fine) is because romantic feelings will not be present in a marriage 100% of the time; there will be times when you will have to consciously choose to love the person you are married to even if you do not feel like loving them. If you base a marriage solely on feelings, you will soon be in trouble because feelings ebb and flow even more often than the ocean tide. Building that friendship and companionship will help remind you why you made those wedding vows. Also, keep the friendships with other people that you had before dating somebody; do not forsake your friends or stop hanging out with them! Remember that this relationship could end; if that is the case, it will be much harder to pick back up with other friendships that you neglected for the time you were dating.
Advice for Girls From Lessons I Have Learned - Part 1
I want to start this series of blog posts off by saying that I am no expert on dating and relationships! In fact, I am far from it. But these are some things that I have learned, am learning, and have been taught over the last couple of years about relationships. These will not necessarily be applicable to everybody and I am not saying that if you do these things exactly that you will end up with right guy or that you will have the perfect pre-dating experience. God does not have a “one-size fits all” plan for people but has a different plan for each and every one of us; do not try to take somebody else’s story and fit it exactly to your life. It is my hope that these things I have learned will be an encouragement to you and cause you to think about how you handle your own relationships.
1. Dating in high school – Just DON’T! Prematurely formed emotional attachments in high school usually do not end well. Yes, granted, some people can do it and have done it, but the majority of relationships end with broken hearts and tears. So many people mature and change a ton once they get to college. The person you start dating in 12th grade may be a totally different person 3 years later. Personally, I know that I have changed more in my first two years of college than I did in high school. Peoples’ values and beliefs can change so much upon entering college. Hopefully, if a person is a believer, college and that time of “growing up” will only strengthen their walk with the Lord. Because people can change so drastically, it is better to wait than to date early. For me, I purposed not to date my first year of college and I am so thankful I did because I changed so much from being a brand new Fall college freshman to a little bit more experienced Spring college sophomore. Besides, you can use your first year of college to just get to know people; see how people interact and react to circumstances. Let yourself grow up and mature as well as others too.
2. Older, wiser council – This is essential to have in your life at all times and especially when it comes to relationships! It is very easy to be caught up in the moment, caught up in emotions and feelings and to forsake all good judgment. If you can, seek council from your parents; they know and love you better than most people. For some reason, if you cannot go to your parents with this kind of stuff, find an older couple or an older woman in your life. They will often be the voice of reason and wisdom when you are tempted to run wild; they know, hopefully, what it is like to have romantic fluttering and feelings and they know how to best deal with them in a God-honoring way. Proverbs 2:1-2 says, “My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, [make] your ear attentive to wisdom and [incline] your heart to understanding.” We are to seek wisdom like a precious treasure. And note, seeking council from somebody who is 3 months or even just a year older is probably not the best choice unless you know for certain they are mature and wise. Remember, you want them to speak wisdom and God’s truth to you, not just what you want to hear from them. Let them keep you accountable; let them ask the hard and “awkward” questions about purity, etc. If you know somebody is going to ask you how you are doing at staying pure, it is a lot easier a lot easier to say “no” to temptation.
3. Wait silently and do not initiate – Many girls feel like they need to “run after” a guy because they are afraid that he will not notice them or that he will pursue a different girl. While temptation to do this is hard to resist, especially if you feel this guy is “the One,” it must be resisted at all costs. Why? Because, in Genesis 2:24, it is clearly stated that the man is supposed to leave his parents and cling to his wife; it is the man’s responsibility to pursue a woman. The problem with initiating a relationship is that you could be pursuing something that is not God’s will, especially because the guy is supposed to pursue. And think, if you got married and had major issues later in life, would you regret that you initiated the relationship? Would you wonder if it would have happened if you had not made the first move? I heard a quote by somebody something to the effect of that a woman will secretly despise the man that she leads; yes, she wants to lead and be in control, but more than anything, most women do want a man to lead. Do not usurp that responsibility from a man!
4. Trust the Lord – Waiting silently and refraining from initiating are tangible evidences of trust in the Lord. Psalm 37:5 says, “Commit your way to the Lord,; trust in Him, and He will act.” God has HIS best plan for you in mind; He will not withhold good things from those who are following Him. (Psalm 84:11) Remember: If it’s not God’s perfect right timing, then it’s not His will. If God is telling you to wait on a certain person, He does not want you to have them right then. So, essentially, they are not the right person at that time because God is saying “no.” God will act in the manner that He sees as best for His child. He knows your frame and He knows you better than you even know yourself; trust that He will take care of you.
5. Pray – Instead of worrying about the future and what it will hold (Matthew 6:25-34), pray! God already knows what you are thinking, but go ahead and express your worries and fears to God but, at the same time, praise and thank Him for giving you this uncertainty to trust Him with. (Philippians 4:6-7) I have found that when I am praying and committing myself to God I am able to trust Him better. Also remember that you are not the only person in life; you are not the only person with “problems.” It is good to keep in mind too, that God is so much bigger than all your problems. We are here to serve Him, not to fulfill all our wants and desires.
1. Dating in high school – Just DON’T! Prematurely formed emotional attachments in high school usually do not end well. Yes, granted, some people can do it and have done it, but the majority of relationships end with broken hearts and tears. So many people mature and change a ton once they get to college. The person you start dating in 12th grade may be a totally different person 3 years later. Personally, I know that I have changed more in my first two years of college than I did in high school. Peoples’ values and beliefs can change so much upon entering college. Hopefully, if a person is a believer, college and that time of “growing up” will only strengthen their walk with the Lord. Because people can change so drastically, it is better to wait than to date early. For me, I purposed not to date my first year of college and I am so thankful I did because I changed so much from being a brand new Fall college freshman to a little bit more experienced Spring college sophomore. Besides, you can use your first year of college to just get to know people; see how people interact and react to circumstances. Let yourself grow up and mature as well as others too.
2. Older, wiser council – This is essential to have in your life at all times and especially when it comes to relationships! It is very easy to be caught up in the moment, caught up in emotions and feelings and to forsake all good judgment. If you can, seek council from your parents; they know and love you better than most people. For some reason, if you cannot go to your parents with this kind of stuff, find an older couple or an older woman in your life. They will often be the voice of reason and wisdom when you are tempted to run wild; they know, hopefully, what it is like to have romantic fluttering and feelings and they know how to best deal with them in a God-honoring way. Proverbs 2:1-2 says, “My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, [make] your ear attentive to wisdom and [incline] your heart to understanding.” We are to seek wisdom like a precious treasure. And note, seeking council from somebody who is 3 months or even just a year older is probably not the best choice unless you know for certain they are mature and wise. Remember, you want them to speak wisdom and God’s truth to you, not just what you want to hear from them. Let them keep you accountable; let them ask the hard and “awkward” questions about purity, etc. If you know somebody is going to ask you how you are doing at staying pure, it is a lot easier a lot easier to say “no” to temptation.
3. Wait silently and do not initiate – Many girls feel like they need to “run after” a guy because they are afraid that he will not notice them or that he will pursue a different girl. While temptation to do this is hard to resist, especially if you feel this guy is “the One,” it must be resisted at all costs. Why? Because, in Genesis 2:24, it is clearly stated that the man is supposed to leave his parents and cling to his wife; it is the man’s responsibility to pursue a woman. The problem with initiating a relationship is that you could be pursuing something that is not God’s will, especially because the guy is supposed to pursue. And think, if you got married and had major issues later in life, would you regret that you initiated the relationship? Would you wonder if it would have happened if you had not made the first move? I heard a quote by somebody something to the effect of that a woman will secretly despise the man that she leads; yes, she wants to lead and be in control, but more than anything, most women do want a man to lead. Do not usurp that responsibility from a man!
4. Trust the Lord – Waiting silently and refraining from initiating are tangible evidences of trust in the Lord. Psalm 37:5 says, “Commit your way to the Lord,; trust in Him, and He will act.” God has HIS best plan for you in mind; He will not withhold good things from those who are following Him. (Psalm 84:11) Remember: If it’s not God’s perfect right timing, then it’s not His will. If God is telling you to wait on a certain person, He does not want you to have them right then. So, essentially, they are not the right person at that time because God is saying “no.” God will act in the manner that He sees as best for His child. He knows your frame and He knows you better than you even know yourself; trust that He will take care of you.
5. Pray – Instead of worrying about the future and what it will hold (Matthew 6:25-34), pray! God already knows what you are thinking, but go ahead and express your worries and fears to God but, at the same time, praise and thank Him for giving you this uncertainty to trust Him with. (Philippians 4:6-7) I have found that when I am praying and committing myself to God I am able to trust Him better. Also remember that you are not the only person in life; you are not the only person with “problems.” It is good to keep in mind too, that God is so much bigger than all your problems. We are here to serve Him, not to fulfill all our wants and desires.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
More to Life
It is easy for people to become so wrapped up in their “problems” in life that they tend to forget about the bigger picture of life. When we are focused on ourselves, we forget the reason we are here on this earth; we forget that we are here to serve, honor, and glorify God. The other day I was wrestling with and worrying about something I was working through; I was so self-focused that I could not see how the circumstance would ever be resolved or concluded. The reason why I was worrying was because I did not see how I was going to fix it. Recognizing subconsciously that this mindset was erroneous, I grabbed my Bible and opened to the Psalms. I cannot remember what chapter I read, but I do know that it helped me refocus my eyes on the Lord. God’s Word reminded me that God is bigger than all of my problems; the only thing that I should be concerned with is obeying and trusting Him. God will take care of all of the rest of the details!!
Psalms 103 is one of my favorite psalms. It is also a good one to read to remind oneself of God’s love, mercy, grace, care, and knowledge of His children. God “knows our frame” (vs. 14a) and “He remembers that we are dust” (vs. 14b); God remembers our frailty and is yet still patient and loving. With this knowledge, how can we worry about the small details in our lives? Why should we worry when we can rest in the fact that God loves us and will take care of us? We shouldn’t! God already too care of our “biggest problem” in life—saving us from eternal damnation. How much more, then, should He be able to take care of our “little problems”? We must keep in mind that there is more to life than the worries of today; there is a God who knows us and will care for us all the days of our lives. It is our responsibility to rest in Him and show our love in return.
Check out Psalm 103:
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the people of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and His righteousness to children's children, to those who keep His covenant and remember to do His commandments. The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His kingdom rules over all.
Bless the Lord, O you His angels, you mighty ones who do His word, obeying the voice of His word! Bless the Lord, all His hosts, His ministers, who do His will! Bless the Lord, all His works, in all places of His dominion. Bless the Lord, O my soul!”
Psalms 103 is one of my favorite psalms. It is also a good one to read to remind oneself of God’s love, mercy, grace, care, and knowledge of His children. God “knows our frame” (vs. 14a) and “He remembers that we are dust” (vs. 14b); God remembers our frailty and is yet still patient and loving. With this knowledge, how can we worry about the small details in our lives? Why should we worry when we can rest in the fact that God loves us and will take care of us? We shouldn’t! God already too care of our “biggest problem” in life—saving us from eternal damnation. How much more, then, should He be able to take care of our “little problems”? We must keep in mind that there is more to life than the worries of today; there is a God who knows us and will care for us all the days of our lives. It is our responsibility to rest in Him and show our love in return.
Check out Psalm 103:
“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the people of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more. But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and His righteousness to children's children, to those who keep His covenant and remember to do His commandments. The Lord has established His throne in the heavens, and His kingdom rules over all.
Bless the Lord, O you His angels, you mighty ones who do His word, obeying the voice of His word! Bless the Lord, all His hosts, His ministers, who do His will! Bless the Lord, all His works, in all places of His dominion. Bless the Lord, O my soul!”
Sunday, August 1, 2010
God's Creation
It is so neat how being out in God’s creation can refresh and revive one’s soul! This afternoon I went out in my backyard and sat on the grass for about 45 minutes, just reading verses I have written on cards and praying. Feeling the sun on my face and smelling the grass and outside air was such a good way to clear the cobwebs from my mind.
Psalm 19:1-6 speaks of God’s creation:
“The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
2 Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.
3 There is no speech, nor are there words,
whose voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out through all the earth,
and their words to the end of the world.
In them he has set a tent for the sun,
5 which comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber,
and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy.
6 Its rising is from the end of the heavens,
and its circuit to the end of them,
and there is nothing hidden from its heat.”
I love how we can see God in creation and how He displays His power and glory in what He has made. This should cause us to turn to Him and praise His name. Spending time in the great outdoors is a good way to be rejuvenated and refreshed for the Lord’s work.
Psalm 19:1-6 speaks of God’s creation:
“The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.
2 Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.
3 There is no speech, nor are there words,
whose voice is not heard.
4 Their voice goes out through all the earth,
and their words to the end of the world.
In them he has set a tent for the sun,
5 which comes out like a bridegroom leaving his chamber,
and, like a strong man, runs its course with joy.
6 Its rising is from the end of the heavens,
and its circuit to the end of them,
and there is nothing hidden from its heat.”
I love how we can see God in creation and how He displays His power and glory in what He has made. This should cause us to turn to Him and praise His name. Spending time in the great outdoors is a good way to be rejuvenated and refreshed for the Lord’s work.
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