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11. Try to avoid looking at guys you meet as “potentials” – Instead, look at them as brothers in Christ. We are called to love one another and to care for one another because—if we are truly saved—we are members of the same household. But do not assume that a particular person is totally ruled out either; God has a sense of humor and a way of making us eat our words at times. Somebody who you promise to never to like, date, or marry could be the very person that God has planned for you to spend forever with. God can always work drastically in a person’s heart including your own. So instead, be open to God’s will and let Him direct your path.
12. Be friendly, but reserved – We need to show the love of God to people, but there is a limit. You do not want to go around sharing your life story and all of your problems and issues and dreams and thoughts and how you are feeling at certain times of certain days with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Oftentimes, guarding oneself can also be guarding the other person. Remain a mystery and do not let a guy know what you are thinking at all times. Let him try to figure you out if he really wants to. If a guy is truly interested he will put in the effort to unveil your “mysteriousness.”
13. Do your best to seek after girl friendships – Let the Lord bring what guy friendships He may. Remember: your girl friends are going to be the ones that you call up after you’re married and have kids and your child does something exciting for the first time. You are not going to call one of your guy pals from college to tell him that your child rolled over or took 10 steps; that would be inappropriate and improper. Once you are married, it is your responsibility to be dedicated to your husband. By saying “I do” to him, you have ruled out the option of sharing your heart or burdens with other guys. Instead, deepen your friendships with girls; they will be the ones you can ask for prayer from and the ones you can share your joys and sorrows with. (As a side note: I am not advocating that you tell every single thing that your husband does to every woman you know; there is a balance between gossiping and asking for wisdom and guidance.)
14. Communication – This is a good thing, but do not make a guy talk about every single thing, every single moment, of every single day. Again, wait and let him initiate a “DTR”; let him lead! However, if waiting is legitimately beginning to hurt your relationship with the Lord, consider whether you have made him into an idol and seek out the wisdom and council of older people. They might just have some really good advice on what you should do. Be honest with him when he asks your opinion; lying is not a good policy! Also, make sure you are not encouraging a guy that you are not interested in. If you need to politely tell him to “back off,” do so; you do not want him to think you are interested when you are not. It might be an awkward conversation, but it is better to communicate your feelings (or lack of feelings) than to get his hopes up. You would not want a guy to do that with you so be considerate and avoid doing the same.
15. Getting “attached” – It is easy for us girls to deceive ourselves and think that we are not emotionally attached to a guy in some way. You might think this could never happen to you, but let me assure you that it can. There have been several times when I have told myself that I did not like a guy, only to discover I actually did because I felt jealous or hurt when he started paying attention to another girl. Be careful. Guard your heart. It is a precious thing.
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