As I was doing my Saturday chores this morning, there were many thoughts running through my head…things like being excited to pick up two close friends from the airport today, going back to school in 8 days, getting ready for my last year of college, etc. But then it really hit me…I’m going into my SENIOR year of college…this is my LAST year as an undergraduate. After this year is over I’ll be down with college and almost done with my education…after this I get to be a grownup…(Blast! Just kidding…ish)…after this I’ll just be plain…well…old. (Well, not really in the grand scheme of things, but it will feel like I’m old. =P But I know there are people a lot older than I am. =] Haha.)
Anyways, thinking about being a senior brought a flood of memories back from the end of last semester and from my senior year of high school. For some reason, I have always wanted to go to Master’s since 6th grade…even before my oldest brother attended there. Actually, my parents say that I’ve wanted to go to Master’s before it was even on the radar for my brothers. For some reason, growing up around the campus, going to basketball games, getting babysat by college girls while my parents attended a few conferences there, it has always been my dream to go there. As both of my brothers spent their 4 years there, this desire only heightened…there were many times I wished I could just skip high school and go straight for my college education. (Part of this was because I wanted to go to school and have fun with my brothers because I missed them so much and the other part was because I just could not wait to be part of the Master’s community.) Having already decided that I wanted to go to Master’s, I had only to decide on a major. For some reason…also known as “fear of man”…when my mom suggested that I be a Home Economics major, I staunchly refused. I was NOT going to admit to my friends in high school—when they were wanting to go places like Notre Dame, Princeton, Harvard, USC, UCLA, etc—that I was “merely going” to a Christian school AND going to be a Home Ec major. My fear of their view of the major caused me to deny pursuing this path of education for a good 3 ½ years; in the mean time I wanted to be a TESOL major. (Teaching English as a second language…I have no idea where I got this idea because none of my family was in any sort of career like that and I hated and was terrible at French.) Anyways, something happened—aka the Lord worked in my heart =] –and I decided that I would pursue Home Economics. Afterall, I had always wanted to be a teacher at some educational level—usually it depended upon what grade I was in—so that I could one day homeschool my kids if the Lord were to have me get married. Actually, being a wife and mom was and is something I have always desired since I was a little girl; I trust that the Lord put that desire in me and it was cultivated by seeing my mom stay at home with us kids all of our lives. I saw and see it as a wonderful lifetime job and career to pursue and a very high calling from the Lord. Why not be equipped for what I wanted to do by being a Home Ec major? (By the way, it’s been a wonderful major!!!)
Moving on, during my senior year of high school I ended up taking the ACT four different times trying to raise my score high enough to get the highest academic scholarship at Master’s. After taking it twice and getting a lower score the second time, my parents saw tutoring as a viable option. I was very much humiliated to be tutored because I felt like I was dumb…and yet I knew that I wasn’t but I didn’t like admitting to my friends that I was getting tutored for this test. Taking the test the 3rd time resulted in the same score as the first test…haha…that wasn’t discouraging at all! (Yes…very sarcastic tone here!) After that my parents changed methods of tutoring; previously I had been tutored on how to best take the ACT test and then they had me tutored in math, the area of my lowest score. By the time I had my 4th attempt, the deadline for the highest scholarship had passed so at this point I was just trying for the next higher scholarship. At that point I was slightly annoyed with myself for having to take it again so I was determined to dominate. Thankfully, by God’s grace, I got my highest score of all and was able to receive that 2nd highest scholarship.
In the mean time, paper work had been turned in for Cal Grant. Since I was the youngest kid in my family, we weren’t too hopeful at getting the largest amount of aid but we knew we’d at least get some. My letter came towards the end o the semester. I remember opening it and being absolutely shocked! It said something to the effect of “Aid Denied” or “Unqualified for Cal Grant”…something that communicated VERY clearly that we were getting no aid whatsoever. Needless to say, my mom spent the next 30 minutes consoling her weeping daughter. Now, I don’t tend to be a very dramatic girl (that’s one of the results of being raised with two brothers and being a Tom-boy for most of my life) but when I do get distressed about things there are times when I tend to see the glass not only as half empty, but also as poured out, smashed, and ground into the dirt. Haha…in my 30 minutes of sobbing I was convinced that God didn’t want me to go to Master’s and that I would never go to Master’s. My mother, being the wise woman that she is, comforted me and assured me that there was still the possibility of going to a JC for 2 years and transferring and she also pointed out that there might be the possibility of appealing the letter. We prayed, I regained my composure, and I realized that I needed to trust God. Feeling a bit silly for my despair, I gave it to the Lord and trusted that He could provide if He wanted to. To make a long story a bit shorter, my mom appealed the letter and the Lord provided over and even more abundantly than we expected. =] We not only received Cal Grant but we also got the full amount. Praise the Lord! Evidence #1 of the Lord wanting me to be at Master’s.
So fast forwarding 3 years, we come to the end of my junior year…last spring. There were rumors going around that people were going to be losing Cal Grant. A bit nervous, I knew the Lord would still provide in the way He saw fit. One Wednesday night, I received an email from our financial aid office saying that I had lost Cal Grant completely and there was a letter in my mailbox the next day affirming that loss. Not quite as despairing, but still very discouraged, I only told one of my friends about the situation, not wanting to worry others before it was decided if I would be returning to school for my senior year. He encouraged me to write a letter telling of my predicament and directed me who to give it to. My parents agreed this was a good idea. I wrote and revised the letter the next Saturday and Sunday and delivered it on Monday. I felt sort of hopeless once I delivered my letter…I had no way of knowing if it would get to the right person. All I could do was trust the Lord. (Just for the reader’s information, I was not as dramatic and despairing this time around as I was as a high school senior…very much a testament to how the Lord has grown my faith in Him over the years. =] Praise the Lord!!) Two days after dropping off the letter I received an email informing me of my reception of almost comparable amounts of aid to what we had lost with Cal Grant. Talk about me being ecstatic! I was absolutely thrilled and giddy…and hyper. (Just ask my roommate and good friends…I was almost literally bouncing off the walls and jumping up and down. =D ) It was so neat to see how the Lord provided so quickly and clearly. It was and is VERY obvious that He wants me to be at Master’s for my senior year.
I am still baffled and amazed when I think about this path I have traveled over the last 4 years. I am so thankful that the Lord has confirmed His will and aligned mine with His. I know for sure that He has me at Master’s because He saw it as His best for me. I am truly humbled by His provision as well as I am so thankful.
As I think, then, to this next year, I am curious as to what the Lord has for me to do and what He has for me to face. I am thankful for His many pictures of faithfulness and provision throughout the 21 years of my life and how they have been especially evident and clear in the last 4 years. I hope and pray that when I am tempted to complain about homework or classes that I would remember that I am at Master’s for a very specific purpose and that the Lord made it possible when it seemed impossible for me to be there. I look forward to being reminded of these truths and seeing how He will continually guide and direct my path. I truly have fallen in love with the verses in Jeremiah 29. Although they seem to be cliché to many people, I pray that I would never forget the depth of truth in them.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the Lord.” ~Jeremiah 29:11-14a~
God knows my future and will reveal it to me in His own timeframe that He sees best for me. In the meantime, I need to call upon Him, pray to Him, and seek Him with my whole heart, my whole life, and all of my strength. It is then that I will find the Lord…He will allow me to find Him and He will provide for me.
May the Lord be honored and glorified as I dedicate this school year to Him!
…8 days and counting!!! *Eeep!!!* =D
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Unmet Expectations
Having expectations and hopes that are unmet by people can be disappointing and even devastating if one does not keep in mind the fallibility and fallen nature of mankind. I was reminded once again this week how my plans are not always the Lord’s plans and how I can easily set up personal expectations that are not met by those around me. Today in my reading I came across this quote:
“When we cling to our expectations we are saying we know what should happen or what would be best in a given situation. This nasty “cling” is pride. Any time we believe we hold the keys to what would be best in any circumstance, we become a god.”
I find myself wholeheartedly agreeing with this statement as something I tend to do. The situation that presented itself last week was no different. I had certain expectations that the situation would carry on in a certain way and it did not. I left disappointed and disheartened for I had thought I had been following the Lord through it all. In frustration with the experience and with myself, I was left confused. I realized, however, that although I might have thought I was honoring the Lord totally, there is always room for growth and the Lord will never fail to do what He sees will best sanctify His beloved child. While this can for sure be frustrating, I know that it the way that the Lord is choosing and see best to mold me into the image of His Son. I had an expectation of how I thought the previously mentioned situation should end but the Lord had a different opinion and plan. He sees it best for me to trust Him in the mean time and wait on Him and His timing.
Along this same line of thought, people are a major component of “failed expectations.” It is funny to me how as humans we are so concerned with being on the receiving end of grace and yet we so easily forget to or refuse to be on the giving end of grace. People will always disappoint at some point and they will always fail to meet another person’s expectations. It is bound to happen for one of two reasons: 1) humans are fallen and so fail and are sinful and, therefore, disappoint or 2) humans are fallen and have flawed expectations and, therefore, are disappointed. I was reminded this morning that I cannot and must not put hope in people because they will fail. (I also have to remember that I cannot put in a guy/boyfriend/husband because he will not be perfect…but that’s another topic of discussion for another day.) Christ alone in the only person I can place my hope in; He is the only person who will never fail me. Yes, there may be times when I might think He failed me, but it is at this point that I need to check my expectations against what is biblical; it is then that I need to question whether or not I am truly trusting the Lord because He has promised to always be faithful. (Deut. 31:6, Ps. 94:14)
To combat wishful thinking of people never failing me, I must remember verses like Philippians 4:8 and Colossians 3:1-2. I must “take captive every thought to the obedience of Christ.” I must instead look to Christ and find my satisfaction and comfort in Him. He is the only person who will never leave me; the only person who will never fail me; the only person who will love me perfectly; the only person who will be able to comfort me in my darkest moments. I cannot and should not look to other people for this ultimate comfort; Christ and Christ alone is my only Savior. He alone is my hope. No guy, no girl, no parent, no sibling, no child, no husband can ever come close to fulfilling that position. I pray I would remember that always and seek to know my Lord and Savior more.
“When we cling to our expectations we are saying we know what should happen or what would be best in a given situation. This nasty “cling” is pride. Any time we believe we hold the keys to what would be best in any circumstance, we become a god.”
I find myself wholeheartedly agreeing with this statement as something I tend to do. The situation that presented itself last week was no different. I had certain expectations that the situation would carry on in a certain way and it did not. I left disappointed and disheartened for I had thought I had been following the Lord through it all. In frustration with the experience and with myself, I was left confused. I realized, however, that although I might have thought I was honoring the Lord totally, there is always room for growth and the Lord will never fail to do what He sees will best sanctify His beloved child. While this can for sure be frustrating, I know that it the way that the Lord is choosing and see best to mold me into the image of His Son. I had an expectation of how I thought the previously mentioned situation should end but the Lord had a different opinion and plan. He sees it best for me to trust Him in the mean time and wait on Him and His timing.
Along this same line of thought, people are a major component of “failed expectations.” It is funny to me how as humans we are so concerned with being on the receiving end of grace and yet we so easily forget to or refuse to be on the giving end of grace. People will always disappoint at some point and they will always fail to meet another person’s expectations. It is bound to happen for one of two reasons: 1) humans are fallen and so fail and are sinful and, therefore, disappoint or 2) humans are fallen and have flawed expectations and, therefore, are disappointed. I was reminded this morning that I cannot and must not put hope in people because they will fail. (I also have to remember that I cannot put in a guy/boyfriend/husband because he will not be perfect…but that’s another topic of discussion for another day.) Christ alone in the only person I can place my hope in; He is the only person who will never fail me. Yes, there may be times when I might think He failed me, but it is at this point that I need to check my expectations against what is biblical; it is then that I need to question whether or not I am truly trusting the Lord because He has promised to always be faithful. (Deut. 31:6, Ps. 94:14)
To combat wishful thinking of people never failing me, I must remember verses like Philippians 4:8 and Colossians 3:1-2. I must “take captive every thought to the obedience of Christ.” I must instead look to Christ and find my satisfaction and comfort in Him. He is the only person who will never leave me; the only person who will never fail me; the only person who will love me perfectly; the only person who will be able to comfort me in my darkest moments. I cannot and should not look to other people for this ultimate comfort; Christ and Christ alone is my only Savior. He alone is my hope. No guy, no girl, no parent, no sibling, no child, no husband can ever come close to fulfilling that position. I pray I would remember that always and seek to know my Lord and Savior more.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
More Than a Dim Cathedral
As summer is winding down and coming to an end for me, I am somewhat scrambling to finish up reading a few books before school starts. One is required reading for leadership and the other is one that my mom and I were sort of discussing together. Yesterday, as I was sitting at my desk, I was looking at the books on my shelf and decided to pull out a book to read just for fun…something that was not as much filled with theology but that was still profitable to my mind and thoughts. The book I chose was Shadow of the Almighty: The Life & Testament of Jim Elliot by his wife Elisabeth. Although I am only 3 chapters in, I am thoroughly enjoying it! I am already amazed and challenged reading about Jim’s dedication to serving our Lord and Savior at such a young age.
Two particular quotes stood out to me from what I read today. Because the quotes were separated by a few pages, I didn’t think they really had anything to do with each other at first, but as I was thinking about them more they seemed to coincide wonderfully. I also realized that they both attested to Jim’s perspective on living out the Gospel daily and his concern for “practical theology.” Here are the quotes:
“How wonderful to know that Christianity is more than a padded pew or a dim cathedral, but that it is a real, living, daily experience which goes on from grace to grace.” (p. 39)
“Where as soon as we hit a subject that has a need God can fill, we dive for our knees and tell Him about it. These are times I’ll remember about college when all the philosophy has slipped out memory’s back gate. God is still on His throne, we’re still on His footstool, and there’s only a knee’s distance between!” (p. 43)
While I know that it is important to have solid theology and to understand basic theological truths, I think some people get a little too carried away with being concerned with theological debates. Many Bible scholars and seminarians are so worried about being able to properly argue and articulate whether they believe in amillennialism or premillennialism or if there will be a rapture or not, etc, etc that they forget how to apply their knowledge to daily living. A lot of people have knowledge about the Bible and about theology but that knowledge never makes it out of their head to the their heart and to their feet for everyday life. One might question if that knowledge is truly real.
I love how Jim Elliot saw Christianity to be more than just going to church or philosophical knowledge that one possesses. Christianity is a lifestyle and something that is tangible and real; we live it out every day. Every new moment is a new opportunity to experience the grace of God. There will be a time when we will forget the academic training we have learned but even if we were to retain it for our entire lives what good would knowledge do us when we stand before the Lord? God could care less whether we have 5 years or just 5 days of Biblical training if we do not seek to use that knowledge to further our relationship with Him. He could care less about the knowledge we have; He cares about what we do with that knowledge and how we apply it to our lives. Jim Elliot knew the importance of actually living as a follower of Christ and not just knowing about how to live like a follower. He understood “practical theology” to the point that he was willing to risk his life for the sake of the Gospel. He wrote, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” Elliot understood that living for the Gospel and living out the Gospel was more important that just knowing the Gospel. His life truly demonstrated that.
I pray that I would be a follower of Christ who lives in such a way to give up those things that I cannot keep so that I might gain that which I can never lose.
Two particular quotes stood out to me from what I read today. Because the quotes were separated by a few pages, I didn’t think they really had anything to do with each other at first, but as I was thinking about them more they seemed to coincide wonderfully. I also realized that they both attested to Jim’s perspective on living out the Gospel daily and his concern for “practical theology.” Here are the quotes:
“How wonderful to know that Christianity is more than a padded pew or a dim cathedral, but that it is a real, living, daily experience which goes on from grace to grace.” (p. 39)
“Where as soon as we hit a subject that has a need God can fill, we dive for our knees and tell Him about it. These are times I’ll remember about college when all the philosophy has slipped out memory’s back gate. God is still on His throne, we’re still on His footstool, and there’s only a knee’s distance between!” (p. 43)
While I know that it is important to have solid theology and to understand basic theological truths, I think some people get a little too carried away with being concerned with theological debates. Many Bible scholars and seminarians are so worried about being able to properly argue and articulate whether they believe in amillennialism or premillennialism or if there will be a rapture or not, etc, etc that they forget how to apply their knowledge to daily living. A lot of people have knowledge about the Bible and about theology but that knowledge never makes it out of their head to the their heart and to their feet for everyday life. One might question if that knowledge is truly real.
I love how Jim Elliot saw Christianity to be more than just going to church or philosophical knowledge that one possesses. Christianity is a lifestyle and something that is tangible and real; we live it out every day. Every new moment is a new opportunity to experience the grace of God. There will be a time when we will forget the academic training we have learned but even if we were to retain it for our entire lives what good would knowledge do us when we stand before the Lord? God could care less whether we have 5 years or just 5 days of Biblical training if we do not seek to use that knowledge to further our relationship with Him. He could care less about the knowledge we have; He cares about what we do with that knowledge and how we apply it to our lives. Jim Elliot knew the importance of actually living as a follower of Christ and not just knowing about how to live like a follower. He understood “practical theology” to the point that he was willing to risk his life for the sake of the Gospel. He wrote, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” Elliot understood that living for the Gospel and living out the Gospel was more important that just knowing the Gospel. His life truly demonstrated that.
I pray that I would be a follower of Christ who lives in such a way to give up those things that I cannot keep so that I might gain that which I can never lose.
Longing For Heaven
When I got home from small groups tonight I took the time to pause and look up at the night sky. As I stood looking at the few scattered stars and the moon, I was reminded of our up-coming annual church family camp where you can see billions of stars. Good memories. And then I also remembered that I will not be able to go camping this year because of heading back to school. Bad/sad reminder. Well, all of these reminders brought the following thought into my mind: “Growing up stinks!!!”
Now I sort of thought this as a joke but at the same time I was serious. Oh, to be a kid again without worries and responsibility. =P Life seemed so much simpler. And yet I don’t think I would want to go back to being a kid again because now I understand the reality of Heaven just a little bit better…a place of rest from sin…a place with no worries…a place to worship our Lord and Savior forever. As I fall more in love with the Gospel and my Savior and see more of my sin and the sin of the world, the more I long for my eternal home. To be free from sin…to be free to worship my Savior and have no distractions while doing it…oh what a glorious day that will be!
O For That Day
by Enfield
We are pilgrims on Earth and we long to be home
We were exiled in birth and wandered alone
Until Jesus the Lamb who was slain in our place
Redeemed us and claimed us His own
We have hope in the place where suffering ends
All our tears wiped away and worship ascends
Where our Savior now sits at the right hand of God
Our Defender, Redeemer and Friend
O for that day when our journey has ended
All of our hope found in Heaven's reward
When we will have the Messiah forever
And we will dwell in the house of the Lord
Yes, we will dwell in the house of the Lord
Now I sort of thought this as a joke but at the same time I was serious. Oh, to be a kid again without worries and responsibility. =P Life seemed so much simpler. And yet I don’t think I would want to go back to being a kid again because now I understand the reality of Heaven just a little bit better…a place of rest from sin…a place with no worries…a place to worship our Lord and Savior forever. As I fall more in love with the Gospel and my Savior and see more of my sin and the sin of the world, the more I long for my eternal home. To be free from sin…to be free to worship my Savior and have no distractions while doing it…oh what a glorious day that will be!
O For That Day
by Enfield
We are pilgrims on Earth and we long to be home
We were exiled in birth and wandered alone
Until Jesus the Lamb who was slain in our place
Redeemed us and claimed us His own
We have hope in the place where suffering ends
All our tears wiped away and worship ascends
Where our Savior now sits at the right hand of God
Our Defender, Redeemer and Friend
O for that day when our journey has ended
All of our hope found in Heaven's reward
When we will have the Messiah forever
And we will dwell in the house of the Lord
Yes, we will dwell in the house of the Lord
Keep Your Heart
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” ~Proverbs 4:23~ (ESV)
This is something that is so hard to do—especially in regards to relationships—and yet it is vital that we fight to guard our hearts with all diligence and determination.
The word picture that comes to my mind when thinking about this verse is a soldier on duty guarding something of utmost value. He cannot leave his post for any reason or else the enemy will sneak in and take that which does not belong to him. We must guard our hearts…nothing should distract us from our diligent watch. It may seem tedious, unnecessary, and discouraging at times but we must remember that the enemy wants to come and turn our heart towards evil. He wants us to stumble and lust for those things that God sees best for us not to have; he wants us to doubt that God has His best in mind for us. Verse 25 says, “Let your eyes look directly forwards, and your gaze be straight before you.” We cannot afford to be distracted by the world around us but must set our gaze on Christ so that our hearts might remain soft for Him to form us into His image.
This is something that is so hard to do—especially in regards to relationships—and yet it is vital that we fight to guard our hearts with all diligence and determination.
The word picture that comes to my mind when thinking about this verse is a soldier on duty guarding something of utmost value. He cannot leave his post for any reason or else the enemy will sneak in and take that which does not belong to him. We must guard our hearts…nothing should distract us from our diligent watch. It may seem tedious, unnecessary, and discouraging at times but we must remember that the enemy wants to come and turn our heart towards evil. He wants us to stumble and lust for those things that God sees best for us not to have; he wants us to doubt that God has His best in mind for us. Verse 25 says, “Let your eyes look directly forwards, and your gaze be straight before you.” We cannot afford to be distracted by the world around us but must set our gaze on Christ so that our hearts might remain soft for Him to form us into His image.
Thoughts on Prayer
During these past few summer months, the pastors at my church have been going through a study called “Jesus’ School of Prayer.” I have been really encouraged and challenged by it, although in all honesty, I cannot say that it has revolutionized my prayer life. =/ However, the knowledge and realization that I need to be dependent upon the Lord more in prayer has been lingering at the back of my mind all summer. Because of that, I have decided to take the outlines of the sermons and use them for my small group topic this next year.
As I was reading through the first outline this morning, there were a few things that really stuck out to me. First, in understanding the importance of prayer, our pastor quoted O. Hallesby who wrote, “Prayer is an attitude of our hearts toward God. It is an attitude of helplessness.” When we pray, a lot of time we are admitting to God—although He already knows—that we are helpless and we are humbling ourselves before Him and surrendering ourselves to His work. This reminds me of one of my favorite passages found in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” When we are weak and acknowledge our weakness and frailty before God, He is more than willing to display His power in us.
The second thing that stood out to me was a list of reasons that God might delay answering our prayers. (Or at least giving us the answer of “wait.”)
1) Sometimes the believer is not in a position to receive the answer.
a. There are things God desires to do in the life of the petitioner before the request is granted.
b. His delay is driven by His love for us not some heartless whim.
2) Other times our request is superficial. We ultimately do not feel strongly about the matter—which becomes evident when we stop praying about it.
3) James 4:3 – our motives are wrong: the delay is designed by God to expose and flush out the self-centeredness of our petition.
4) 1 Kings 19:1-8 – our request is foolish…like Elijah, we over-react in our weariness. Mercifully God tells us no.
5) Psalm 66:18 – we have unresolved sin…in these cases our prayers get no higher than the ceiling. God does not even hear us.
6) Mark 11:22 – the object of our faith is misplaced…Jesus: “Have faith in God.”
7) Mark 11:24-26 – we are withholding forgiveness…this is not an option for a forgiven child of God
8) Luke 5:1-11 – God may have something better for us
a. Sometimes God withholds what we ask for to give us something better
9) 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 – God desires us to experience the sufficiency of His grace
When the answers to our prayers are delayed from our perspective, God always has a good reason. Our responsibility is to examine ourselves first and then trust Him as we keep asking.
I was especially struck by point number 1…it is very easy for me to forget that God has the higher purpose of sanctifying me and forming me into the image of His Son. I know there have been many times when God has said “wait” and then used that following time to grow my faith, patience, and trust. I love being able to look back and seeing God’s faithfulness in the situations of my life…He is so gracious in letting us look back and see His fingerprints all over our lives.
I hope and pray that this study would be an encouragement to the girls that the Lord places in my small group, but even more so I pray that He would use my preparation time now and each week to help me to realize the importance of prayer!
As I was reading through the first outline this morning, there were a few things that really stuck out to me. First, in understanding the importance of prayer, our pastor quoted O. Hallesby who wrote, “Prayer is an attitude of our hearts toward God. It is an attitude of helplessness.” When we pray, a lot of time we are admitting to God—although He already knows—that we are helpless and we are humbling ourselves before Him and surrendering ourselves to His work. This reminds me of one of my favorite passages found in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” When we are weak and acknowledge our weakness and frailty before God, He is more than willing to display His power in us.
The second thing that stood out to me was a list of reasons that God might delay answering our prayers. (Or at least giving us the answer of “wait.”)
1) Sometimes the believer is not in a position to receive the answer.
a. There are things God desires to do in the life of the petitioner before the request is granted.
b. His delay is driven by His love for us not some heartless whim.
2) Other times our request is superficial. We ultimately do not feel strongly about the matter—which becomes evident when we stop praying about it.
3) James 4:3 – our motives are wrong: the delay is designed by God to expose and flush out the self-centeredness of our petition.
4) 1 Kings 19:1-8 – our request is foolish…like Elijah, we over-react in our weariness. Mercifully God tells us no.
5) Psalm 66:18 – we have unresolved sin…in these cases our prayers get no higher than the ceiling. God does not even hear us.
6) Mark 11:22 – the object of our faith is misplaced…Jesus: “Have faith in God.”
7) Mark 11:24-26 – we are withholding forgiveness…this is not an option for a forgiven child of God
8) Luke 5:1-11 – God may have something better for us
a. Sometimes God withholds what we ask for to give us something better
9) 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 – God desires us to experience the sufficiency of His grace
When the answers to our prayers are delayed from our perspective, God always has a good reason. Our responsibility is to examine ourselves first and then trust Him as we keep asking.
I was especially struck by point number 1…it is very easy for me to forget that God has the higher purpose of sanctifying me and forming me into the image of His Son. I know there have been many times when God has said “wait” and then used that following time to grow my faith, patience, and trust. I love being able to look back and seeing God’s faithfulness in the situations of my life…He is so gracious in letting us look back and see His fingerprints all over our lives.
I hope and pray that this study would be an encouragement to the girls that the Lord places in my small group, but even more so I pray that He would use my preparation time now and each week to help me to realize the importance of prayer!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
While I’m Waiting
While I’m Waiting
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
I thought of this song in light of my last post. Waiting and trusting can be painful but we can still run the race that is set before us and we can be confident that the Lord will uphold us. (See Isaiah 40:29-31)
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
I thought of this song in light of my last post. Waiting and trusting can be painful but we can still run the race that is set before us and we can be confident that the Lord will uphold us. (See Isaiah 40:29-31)
No, Do You Really Trust Me?
Haha…I love how God’s sense of humor and sense of irony can be seen throughout our lives and yet how all this can be paired with teaching (sometimes) hard lessons to His children.
Yesterday, I was asked the question: “What do you think is the most important lesson you’ve learned in college?” I immediately chuckled and began to rack my brain for one of the many things the Lord has taught me over the past 3 years. Thankfully, the question was narrowed to the time frame of the last 6 months. That made my thinking a whole lot easier…and then I realized that the thing I came up with was something I had been learning all of college.
Trusting in the Lord. That’s what the Lord has been continually refining in me recently. Trusting in His timing, trusting in His promises, trusting in His perfect will, trusting that He has His best in mind for me, trusting that He will guide and direct me as I strive to be faithful and obedient. I went on to explain to the questioner how I had said at one point during my sophomore year of college, “There is no place that I would rather be than at a point in my life where I need to be completely dependent upon God for strength and guidance.” Looking back, I do believe that I was sincere and confident in saying that…only, now I’m not so sure I would have said it with quite as much confidence as I did if I had known that the Lord would have put that statement to the test as much as He has. But knowing what I know now and seeing how the Lord has grown me and strengthened my faith and confidence in Him, I would not revoke that statement in the least! I just think I would just say it a little more humbly. =P
The ironic and slightly humorous thing about the whole situation is that after talking about learning that lesson a lot in the last 6 months, it seemed that the Lord wanted to test me again by presenting another situation to trust Him completely in. It was as if He was saying to me, “Yeah, you remember what you were talking about yesterday? Well, I was reminding you of that lesson and, simultaneously, reminding you of My faithfulness in all of those situations so that I could give you another occasion to trust Me completely and another occasion to place your faith in Me.” *Sigh* I really do agree with the statement: “People are like sheep and sheep are dumb.” One would think I would have learned this lesson of trust by now but it is so easy for me to “panic” in a situation of uncertainty and forget to take it straight to the Lord in prayer. I’m just thankful that the Lord is patient and gracious with His children and that He does not give up on them!! =] (And He has been very gracious to show me that I have grown a lot over the years!)
All in all, I know the Lord has a purpose for teaching me this much-needed lesson. In the mean time I need to abide by Psalm 37:5, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” In committing my way to Him, I need to be obedient and faithful to not only trust Him, but to be actively diligent in the meantime to commit myself to attend to the tasks that He has for me each day. I had a friend who gave me a good piece of advice; she said, “Instead of just standing around wringing our hands until they are chapped, we should use our hands to serve God and to serve others.” I thought that was pretty profound. =P Instead of worrying, I can think on true things and instead concentrate my efforts of worry and wondering on dealing with the people and tasks that are before me. I would say that is a much better use of my time and thoughts than focusing on myself! =]
Yesterday, I was asked the question: “What do you think is the most important lesson you’ve learned in college?” I immediately chuckled and began to rack my brain for one of the many things the Lord has taught me over the past 3 years. Thankfully, the question was narrowed to the time frame of the last 6 months. That made my thinking a whole lot easier…and then I realized that the thing I came up with was something I had been learning all of college.
Trusting in the Lord. That’s what the Lord has been continually refining in me recently. Trusting in His timing, trusting in His promises, trusting in His perfect will, trusting that He has His best in mind for me, trusting that He will guide and direct me as I strive to be faithful and obedient. I went on to explain to the questioner how I had said at one point during my sophomore year of college, “There is no place that I would rather be than at a point in my life where I need to be completely dependent upon God for strength and guidance.” Looking back, I do believe that I was sincere and confident in saying that…only, now I’m not so sure I would have said it with quite as much confidence as I did if I had known that the Lord would have put that statement to the test as much as He has. But knowing what I know now and seeing how the Lord has grown me and strengthened my faith and confidence in Him, I would not revoke that statement in the least! I just think I would just say it a little more humbly. =P
The ironic and slightly humorous thing about the whole situation is that after talking about learning that lesson a lot in the last 6 months, it seemed that the Lord wanted to test me again by presenting another situation to trust Him completely in. It was as if He was saying to me, “Yeah, you remember what you were talking about yesterday? Well, I was reminding you of that lesson and, simultaneously, reminding you of My faithfulness in all of those situations so that I could give you another occasion to trust Me completely and another occasion to place your faith in Me.” *Sigh* I really do agree with the statement: “People are like sheep and sheep are dumb.” One would think I would have learned this lesson of trust by now but it is so easy for me to “panic” in a situation of uncertainty and forget to take it straight to the Lord in prayer. I’m just thankful that the Lord is patient and gracious with His children and that He does not give up on them!! =] (And He has been very gracious to show me that I have grown a lot over the years!)
All in all, I know the Lord has a purpose for teaching me this much-needed lesson. In the mean time I need to abide by Psalm 37:5, “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” In committing my way to Him, I need to be obedient and faithful to not only trust Him, but to be actively diligent in the meantime to commit myself to attend to the tasks that He has for me each day. I had a friend who gave me a good piece of advice; she said, “Instead of just standing around wringing our hands until they are chapped, we should use our hands to serve God and to serve others.” I thought that was pretty profound. =P Instead of worrying, I can think on true things and instead concentrate my efforts of worry and wondering on dealing with the people and tasks that are before me. I would say that is a much better use of my time and thoughts than focusing on myself! =]
Last Day of Work
Today was the final day of work for me. Exhausted, sad, and yet happy about it all being over, it seems hard to believe that 8 weeks went by so quickly! Being this was only the second summer I worked at this job, I hadn’t realized how much work went into it until I was elbow deep in textbooks, office supplies, desks, and paperwork. One of my coworkers had told me how weird it is to be on the administrative side of a summer program and today that was confirmed in my mind. The whole thing seems very surreal now…we started with a classroom full of chairs, set up an office, ran a school program for 5 weeks, cleaned up in 3 days, and left with an empty classroom. When we left today it looked as if no one had ever been there and yet we look back on the empty room with many fond memories; one would never guess—looking at the room now—that so much time and effort had been spent there. In the 3 weeks prior to the program, we hit the ground running. Starting on June 3rd, four of us unloaded our storage unit and put everything into our classroom. On June 6th, a different four of us came back, took desks out of the classroom, began to set up our office, take phone calls, return phone calls, proofread syllabi, organize textbooks, and much, much more. June 13th, two more people joined in the fun of running an office and we worked for 2 whole weeks before kids and teachers joined us for school on June 27th. During those two weeks we assigned classrooms, made rosters and teacher websites, edited websites, recreated websites (and edited them some more), made emergency plans, distributed textbooks, and tried to assign some order to the chaos before the beginning of school. It was a lot of fun…and I’m not being sarcastic. I thoroughly enjoyed working with each and every person in the office. Most of them I had known for a while so furthering those relationships was a blessing!
Once the kids came, things were going a hundred miles an hour. The first week was filled with taking kids to classes, answering teacher questions, testing kids for reading ability, occasionally being in the classroom as an actual TA, and doing other random tasks in the office after school. Some highlights of the overall program were having some of the same students from last year in one of my classes, getting to make a watermark and letterhead that we did and will be using for our transcripts from now on, helping with teacher luncheons every Wednesday and our appreciation luncheon at the end of the year, getting to work with old friends, getting to make new friends, getting to drive the golf cart (haha), running into poles with the golf cart, getting teased by our director, and just being blessed by having a lot of coworkers that were believers!
I am so thankful that the Lord gave me the opportunity to work at this job again and I am definitely looking forward to next year. There were many lessons I learned—patience and flexibility especially—and there were many found memories gained. I think most of all, I will miss the people I got to work with, but I am thankful that I will get to see most of them throughout the year. =D
Once the kids came, things were going a hundred miles an hour. The first week was filled with taking kids to classes, answering teacher questions, testing kids for reading ability, occasionally being in the classroom as an actual TA, and doing other random tasks in the office after school. Some highlights of the overall program were having some of the same students from last year in one of my classes, getting to make a watermark and letterhead that we did and will be using for our transcripts from now on, helping with teacher luncheons every Wednesday and our appreciation luncheon at the end of the year, getting to work with old friends, getting to make new friends, getting to drive the golf cart (haha), running into poles with the golf cart, getting teased by our director, and just being blessed by having a lot of coworkers that were believers!
I am so thankful that the Lord gave me the opportunity to work at this job again and I am definitely looking forward to next year. There were many lessons I learned—patience and flexibility especially—and there were many found memories gained. I think most of all, I will miss the people I got to work with, but I am thankful that I will get to see most of them throughout the year. =D
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