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6. Think on true things – Do not dwell on the “what ifs,” “could be’s,” “maybes,” and “perhaps.” Think on things that are true and actual (Philippians 4:8). DO NOT assume that a guy is interested in any way UNTIL he actually voices interest. Girls get themselves into a heap of trouble when they daydream and fantasize about a guy. Remember what is true – has he expressed interest? Has he told you that he wants to become better acquainted? If not, then do not imagine that he likes you! It will help you stay away from a lot of heart ache, especially if he starts pursing somebody else.
7. Be patient – Remember, sometimes guys take a few more years than girls to mature. It might take a guy a little longer to recognize what he is looking for and to realize that he is interested in a particular girl. He might be interesting in a girl, but he might not know how to go about starting a relationship. Let him figure it out; if he is “the One,” God will direct his steps and he will make it to you in time. Wait for him to make the first move. If he does initiate something, do not sigh and say, “Finally! I thought you’d never ask!!” You need to be encouraging and supporting, not demeaning and disheartening. Taking a step towards dating—if it is serious and done with the mindset of finding out if marriage will be the end—is a big step for a guy!! In making that step, they are beginning to think about the possibility of “forever”; once they say “I do” they have the responsibility to care and provide for you and they cannot go back on this choice. So do not rush the process because once you say “yes,” it’s forever! Cut the guy some slack; be patient and let God guide him.
8. Contentment – It is important to understand that being in a relationship will not make you happy or content; if you are not content in singleness you will not be content in a relationship. If you are not content with deepening your relationship with God, you will not be content in getting to know a guy better. And, yes, there will still be times when you struggle with contentment, but it is your responsibility to be seeking the Lord and asking Him for help. Loneliness does not end with marriage; I have heard that oftentimes marriage can be even lonelier for a woman because she cannot go to as many people to talk about her problems. Do not think that getting a boyfriend, a fiancé, or a husband will make you any less lonely or discontent. Only God can fill this void in your heart.
9. Avoid technological conversations as much as possible – It is so easy to build false emotional attachments over Skype, Facebook chat, IM, Gchat, etc. Now, I am not saying that it is inappropriate or wrong to chat once in a while, but it is not wise to let it become a habit. Spend time with them face-to-face. It is so much better to see how they react to questions, situations, and even your reactions. In order to truly get to know somebody you have to spend time with them. Besides, it is easy to make yourself look and sound good over the internet; without physically being with them it is harder to see their strengths and weaknesses. Also, until further intentions have been declared, avoid consistent, deep, spiritual, one-on-one conversations especially late at night. It is very easy to let your guard down when you are tired; people become more vulnerable and open when they are sleepy so it is best to avoid the temptation altogether. While these sorts of conversations are not bad, they can provide for relationships that go too deep too fast; they can be totally based on feelings and have no logic, reason, or wisdom to base a relationship off of. This is another reason it is good to have older, wiser council in your life; they can keep you accountable to how much time you are spending together or talking with each other.
10. Form a friendship – Although this is not necessarily essential and can be more of a personal preference, it is a good idea to be friends with a person before you start dating them. This will allow you to see how they interact with other people of the same and opposite gender. It will also help you see who they really are without the pressure or expectation of trying to impress. Another good reason to be friends first (and again, this might not happen which is totally fine) is because romantic feelings will not be present in a marriage 100% of the time; there will be times when you will have to consciously choose to love the person you are married to even if you do not feel like loving them. If you base a marriage solely on feelings, you will soon be in trouble because feelings ebb and flow even more often than the ocean tide. Building that friendship and companionship will help remind you why you made those wedding vows. Also, keep the friendships with other people that you had before dating somebody; do not forsake your friends or stop hanging out with them! Remember that this relationship could end; if that is the case, it will be much harder to pick back up with other friendships that you neglected for the time you were dating.
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