As the semester wound down to the end, I began to realize how fickle and foolish I can be. Just a few weeks ago I was wishing and praying that the end of the year would come; I was so very much looking forward from being free from homework, classes, and even social life. But as the year came to a close and as I now sit in my room at home, I realize how discontent I was. Now I am sad that I won't be seeing my best friends for more than 3 months. Once again, the Lord is teaching me the lesson of contentment--something I have been learning for years and years. This lesson is often painful and at times I feel like I am actually regressing, but God is so good, so gentle, and so patient with me for which I am so grateful. =]
Yesterday I spent most of my day chipping away at the absolute disaster which is otherwise known as: my room. For a few hours it looked as if a tornado had raged through my room, and then someone had set off a bomb in there, which was then followed by a massive earthquake which shook everything up. As I waded through my mess, I was thinking about school and life and I came to a very odd realization which was quite contradictory to something I had thought earlier in the week. I was talking to my friend and I told her that right now, for college students, summer tends to be a break in the "reality of life." But I realized that this thinking was quite wrong when all of life is taken into consideration. Essentially, summer is what "real life" will be like once I graduate college. The people I go to church with, those people who live in my home town, are those people who I will be (most likely unless I move) interacting with after college. Goodbyes to close college friends will become an even greater reality because I will not just see them again in the Fall. Although I might see friends at some point in life again, most of my goodbyes will be final until Heaven. This thought shocked me; I had never thought about life like this before. It made me really sad and, in some senses, almost made me panic. But I had to remind myself that God is sovereign and that He knows what is best for me. If He wants me to cross paths with my close friends often, He will orchestrate that. I must rest and take comfort in that knowledge.
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