Last night began our first night as a Shepherding Group in our study on the book of 1 Samuel. I am so very excited to be apart of this group not only because of the solid teaching we will have each week but also because of the fellowship with my dear church family that will be experienced weekly. Since graduating from college in May, I have definitely come to love the times at Bible study because it is sweet fellowship. Living in the dorms at Master's is an amazing experience but it is also not realistic in how the rest of life functions. And that is totally an okay thing...it just makes me all the more thankful that I had the opportunity to attend Master's and live in the dorms all 4 years!!! God truly blessed me greatly in allowing that to happen! =)
Anyways...back to what I was going to blog about...
Last night we discussed 1 Samuel 1 and how Hannah cries out to the Lord for a son. We find out in this first chapter that Hannah barren. This reality has driven her to deep sorrow not only because she cannot have children but also because her husband's 2nd wife irritates and, most likely, makes fun of her for being barren. Our leader pointed out that this probably had gone on for many years (1:7a) and it seems that Hannah is so broken and driven to despair with the desire that she have a son that she willingly prays that God give her a son so she can give him back to serve the Lord. That which she held so dear--the prospect of having children--she was willing to give back to God. In verse 11 she says, "O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head." (1:11) Yes, she probably prayed this prayer with a bit of desperation but it was with sincerity too because we see that she does indeed take Samuel to where the High Priests lived.
As we were talking about Hannah, I was struck with the contrast of Hannah's attitude towards being barren to that of Rachel's in Genesis 30. Genesis 30 says that Rachel was envious of her sister Leah and so she says to Jacob, "Give me children, or I shall die!" (Genesis 30:1) Now, in the text we see at this moment Rachel is not praying specifically to God when she says this, but ultimately she is shaking her fist at God and demanding children. She thinks she cannot be happy or keep on living if God does not grant her children. Ironically, the very thing she held so dearly to--children--eventually did lead to her death as she died in child birth with Benjamin. (Genesis 35:16-21)
It got me thinking...what kind of attitude do we as Christians have towards the things that we desire most? Do we ask for those things in faith and, at the same time, are we willing to hold them with an open hand and give them back to God? Do we prize our desires, hopes, and dreams more than God Himself? Are we willing to ask for things but trust that God will do what He sees as best with the things we ask for?
Or, on the flip side, do we demand things from God and tell Him, "If you don't give me 'x, y, or z,' I will die!" Or, maybe in somewhat less dramatic terms, do we tell God that we will never be happy if He does not give us what we desire? Do we tell Him that we cannot effectively serve Him without the things we want?
Hopefully, the Holy Spirit brings us to a point in our lives when we can truly have a Hannah-like attitude. Ultimately, she had a similar attitude to Christ's as He faced death on the cross. He implored that God would accomplish His will some other way and yet He knew there was no other way. And, because of that knowledge and because He knew that God's way was BEST and because He trust God's plan, He submitted His will and died for us. He willingly said, "Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." (Luke 22:42) And obviously Christ was able to do this because He was God, but, at the same time, He did experience real pain, real anguish, and real desires because He was fully human as well as fully God. And it is because of this that He can relate to us in our humanness. (Hebrews 4:14-16) Because of His choice to submit His will to God as fully human, we too can have this same attitude and mindset.
So what kind of attitude do we choose to have?
Are we like Rachel who shook her fist at God and said she would die if He did not give her what she wanted? Are we only content when we "get what we want"?
Or are we like Hannah who was willing to give her son back to God for all the days of his life? Are we willing to find joy and contentment in God alone regardless of our circumstances and regardless of what we do or do not get?
Are we like Christ who subjected His will to the Father and laid down His own desires for the sake of others and the glory of God?
Are you a Hannah or a Rachel?
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