More and more I am seeing the gentleness of the Lord displayed towards me and I can do nothing else but praise and thank Him for it. God’s gentleness seems to be very closely related to His love for us. A particular facet or demonstration of love is how God knows each and every one of His children; God does not just know our names, but He also knows us personally. He knows our thoughts; He knows exactly, to put it in a modern phrase, “what makes us tick.” In John 10, Jesus is talking about how He is the Good Shepherd. Particularly in verse 14 He says, “I know my own and my own know me.” Jesus Christ knows all about us! Psalm 139 is the classic example of how intimately God knows us; He formed us in our mothers’ wombs; He could see us before anyone even knew we were there. All that to say, God knows how to love us perfectly; He also knows how to discipline, admonish, and rebuke us perfectly. It is in this that I have seen God’s gentleness towards me. God knows that if He were to just “slap me upside the head” with a rebuke it would discourage and dishearten me on my road to sanctification; He knows I can get discouraged easily with my sin and so He gently rebukes me in other ways. The main way I have seen Him do it, time and time again, is by slowly revealing to me during a quiet time or something the sin I am struggling with. Then, after I have wrestled with that for a day or so, it usually happens that there is either a chapel message or a church sermon that I hear preached on the very thing I am dealing with. Today was one of those such days and I thought it was a good reminder for all believers.
Our pastor talked about bitterness and forgiveness today in context of what proceeds after trust has been violated in marriage once one has been betrayed, but his principles apply to all situations of hurt and disappointment caused by others. The passage he used was Ephesians 4:30-32 which says,
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God is Christ forgave you.”
When we refuse forgiveness from a fellow brother or sister in Christ, this brings grief to the Holy Spirit; God is displeased because of our audacity to withhold forgiveness when He forgave us, a sinner just like anybody else. Paul then calls us to get rid of, to haul away, to put away six different sins. We are called to put away bitterness or animosity which is the opposite of love. Bitterness is like a root; the writer of Hebrews encourages his readers to make sure that “no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble [because] by it many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:15b) Bitterness can lead to wrath if not dealt with and it can drive a wedge between people. Somebody once said, “Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other party dies.” Being bitter will only hurt ourselves; it breeds hate and malice within us which causes us to swell and begin to die within if we do not root it out. Wrath can then lead to anger or a deep flowing rage within. The result of this anger can be clamor or yelling which is like fuel to violent arguments. Next we are called to root out slander and all bad talking and we are to rid ourselves of malice and the inner vicious disposition which delights in inflicting pain and hurt on others. We must do our best—with the Lord’s help, of course—to keep our bitterness from progressing this far; we must first root out ALL bitterness!
Although we might not feel like loving others, especially when we have been hurt, we are commanded to be kind and tenderhearted towards one another. We must forgive others just “as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 32b) We have no other option than to put on a heart of compassion, consideration, and grace. Believers are called to forgive and show grace because God showed us grace and, therefore, so should we. Forgiveness is like canceling a debt and choosing to bear the cost of the debt against us; we take the hurt of the sin that was committed against us and “do not make the offender pay us back.” We simply forgive and move on. Forgiveness releases us from a life of bitterness. This is not an easy task; it is something that takes time and is a process of continually letting go. It is a daily battle and a conscious choice to let go. Although forgiveness does not guarantee that the offender will never sin against us again, we are still called to forgive. We are called to choose love and choose forgiveness whether we feel like it or not. (Adapted from John McIntosh, July 11, 2010)
As sort of a side note, it is interesting how many times an offender may not even be aware of what he or she did to offend. We may be harboring bitterness against someone who does not even realize they hurt us; therefore, we must be careful when we are frustrated or angry with somebody because they might not know what they are doing. I was reminded of this truth while reading the book To Kill a Mockingbird. When Atticus Finch is talking to his daughter, Scout, he says, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view […] until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” (p. 30) We need to make sure we consider that the other person might not have as much knowledge about things or even that they may be going through some hard thing we do not know about. All that to say, we should not judge people or automatically assume that they meant to harm us. (It is humbling to be reminded of a biblical truth in a secular piece of literature. =P ]
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