The Choices We Make

One of the latest books I have been reading is called Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot in which she talks about biblical womanhood, etc. This weekend I ran across a quote about choices that has caused me to do some thinking; ultimately, she is talking about the choice of marriage, but the principle can apply to all of life.

“Marriage is a choice of one above all others. Each partner promises to forsake all others, and the Bible says that man will leave his father and mother and ‘cleave’ to his wife. Any choice we ever make in life instantly limits us.”

I thought this was such an interesting perspective on decision-making. Not only do we, in the instance the author is talking about, choose the person we are going to marry, but we—essentially—say “no” to all other intimate and deep relationships with people of the opposite gender. In making one choice which frees us up to love, cherish, serve, honor, and be there for one particular person, we are giving up our freedom to do the same for other people. Yes, we still need to love others as brothers and sisters in Christ, but we cannot and must not go beyond that with the opposite sex. While women can see to the spiritual and emotional needs of other women, it is totally inappropriate for them to see to those needs of a man. And the vice versa principle applies. Once we choose to spend the rest of our lives with one person, we are reserving ourselves to support them and them alone.

This principle carries over into all of life. For instance, if a college student chooses to do his homework, he gives up the freedom to hang out with friends, watch a movie, or to even possibly sleep in that particular instance. If a college students chooses to hang out with people, he gives up his freedom to do homework or sleep. At a restaurant, if I choose to order one dish, I am choosing to not order all of the other choices. Yes, I know the example does break down because there are people who can “do it all,” but I think you get the point. Even in the instance of our salvation, we are now free to obey God and submit to His commands; yes, we can still choose to sin, but we will suffer the consequences of that choice. We now have the obligation to serve the Lord and need to be committed to choosing to obey Him when temptation lingers in front of us. The choices we make will limit us because we are saying “yes” to one thing and no to a whole other list of options.